Roaring 20s.

20 Things I have to do in my 20s. 

1. Start waking up earlier

2. Being learning to cook (more than Mac & Cheese)

3. Read the classic literature

4. Save your money and be thrifty

5. Make sure your wardrobe reflects you

6. Find a comfortable make up regime

7. Begin investing in lotions and cremes (I'm not getting any younger)

8. Invest in a new hobby (But not as lame as coin collecting)

9. Take a walk, or a job, a few times a week

10. Water, water, water! 

11. Finally get those 8-10 hours of sleep a night

12. Stop stressing about "Mr. Right". 

13. Learn the art of the conversation

14. Allow myself to fail 
15. Take responsibility for my life
16. Apply for blue collar jobs
17. Start padding the savings account
18. Learn to say "Yes" more often than "No."
19. Experience the entire spectrum of what the city has to offer
and finally, 20. 
Begin living like qualitatively, not quantitively. 

this was the list i complied in my 11 am American History class. it was scribbled down on my graded essay (A+ of course) during a boring lecture about nationalism's role during WWI. the only thing i could really absorb from the lecture was that 'Americans expected their country to play out a lot of what was needed to make their lives comfortable'. 

My gears started turning. 

People have a knack for expecting others to set the bar for their happiness. Someone else is supposed to pity and tell them how to find the right partner. Someone else is to blame when they don't follow through on a job application. And of course, no one understands just exactly what they're going through. 

I'm writing this post in a rather blunt and tough attitude. It's been a few days now that I've had to experience others nagging of how difficult life is on them. I guess the hard reality is we only make life hard for ourselves. We are the captains of our own ship. It's really up to us whether we sink or swim. 

there's no time like the now to finally grab responsibility for the horns and take action. I guess that's where number 15 comes from. There's been too much time spent on mopping about lost opportunities and failed experiences. If you want the A, study for it. Work for it. Apply yourself whole heartedly and get the A. Investing mediocre energy and expecting achievement is a delusion. 

Happiness isn't about the "soon to be"; it's about the "here and me". I make my happiness through my actions and my decisions. And I think once you realize that, there's a great weight lifted off your shoulders. Because if I am the one who gets to create my life, there's no reason it's going to go wrong. 

free to be you & me-free to be happy.

for your momma.

drama: a specific mode of fiction represented in performance.


usually reserved for the likes of Romeo and Juliet, drama used to be a thing you'd see in theaters friday night. now it seems drama has become synonymous to having a conversation. 


i have a girlfriend and she's been tied up in a love-gone-bad relationship for quite a while now. his favorite line of defense for an argument is-"this is drama." Drama? Can that single word successfully sum up and entire emotion? Is it an answer or an aversion? There's nothing dramatic about wanting the truth or looking for some retribution that your work isn't going noticed. 


Conversations have become something of the past. what starts as innocent becomes taken over with emotion and illogical conclusion. insert some screaming and below the belt hits and you've got yourself a healthy dose of "drama". 


how come we can't take well-intentioned conversation for what it is? is it wrong to ask questions in the hopes of an answer? women are made into nagging girlfriends if they just search for some peace of mind. communication, once the most important element to a good relationship, has taken a turn into torture. a couple can't seem to get through the difficult stuff without someone losing it along the way. 


there's no map or GPS to help guide along the good from the bad. but on the road of a relationship, is there ever a set route. or even in that matter, a set destination? being on the outside of this struggle, it makes me thankful that i have someone who can both navigate a map and push forward to the end. even with the bumps in the road, we always seem to end up all buckled and happy in the end.

tonight we're going hard

halloween; Saturday night costume.

my pictures are soon to follow. 

as in tomorrow morning...

Ok, lets be serious. More along afternoon/evening.

Mental Fung Shui

Every time I feel myself losing sight or focus, I start a project. Which, in retrospect, could be the most backward idea out there. Because my lack of attention usually transfers to my new hobby and that becomes left behind as well. Scrap-booking becomes cut out pictures left sitting around a mess of papers and glitter; organizing closets become half folded garments and the other sprawled on the floor; and of course, any collection of coins or postcards just fall into forgotten boxes, stuck under the bed. 


However, like a creeping habit, today I drew up plans on my new & improved Fung Shui room. With a color palette of neutrals and hundreds of ideas in my head, I'm determined to make this project different. 


A change in scenery is natural after all. Late October, only a few golden leaves still stick onto tree branches, trying to keep the inevitable at bay. From Summer to Fall, the whole city goes through a change. 


There's nothing more natural than taking a hint from Mother Nature. Maybe a spruce of the room can really give a spruce to the mind. 


but first, i must put the finishing touches on the Halloween costumes of 2010. Ke$ha and Oscar the Grouch. It's going to be one hell of a weekend. 

"I Swear On Chanel"

First Day. Premier Jour. 
What better way to begin but in attempts to break addiction. My addiction?
Go-Gurt. 


I've always been a yogurt girl. Breakfast or midnight snack, there's always a plentiful supply in the fridge. I'm a loyalist to what's been good to me. Yoplait Raspberry and Lemon, sometimes a Custard-style Strawberry & Banana. I have a hard time switching it up. 


I can't help myself. Once I become dependent on something that's good and never failing, I stay hooked. Like a bad habit, I can't seem to let myself explore the possibility of more. I drink my coffee from my Sunflower printed, blue cup. I eat my cereal from my tiffany blue breakfast bowl. I can't break away from it.


And after three strawberry Go-Gurts and one vanilla latte I got a scare.  


Do I dig my heels in to all aspects of life? Am I set on everything in its place, already?


At 20, I have the next ten plus years of my life all pictured. Two more years of undergraduate, four years of Medical, one year of intern, five years residency and three years of fellowship. 


Sure there will be children, a husband, vacations (Well, that might be pushing it.) But I haven't even taken a second to think maybe I've planned it all wrong. Or, is there every a concrete plan at 20?


I swear on Chanel, which is the highest and most honest promise I can make, I am more confused then the dementia patients at the Hawthorn Retirement Clinic a few blocks away. I'm not sure why you, the people of the world wide web, would want to hear a coming of age girl complain about all things, well, coming of age. 


I'm sure it's all things that can be learned in time, or well, maybe not. I'm about as sure of that as I am of everything else. But what is an inarguable fact is that i'll keep eating my Go-Gurts, drinking my Tully's and sticking to what I do best. 


This, I swear on Chanel.